dreams

In case you didn't know, being pregnant brings on crazy, vivid dreams. However, I've always had weird dreams and 95% of the time I can remember them and so that I don't forget, I usually tell J in the morning. He thinks I'm so weird too because I get deja-vu all the time lol but whatever :P

Anyways, the other night I had a dream that I woke up to my phone going off. I check my phone and see that people are wishing me a happy birthday, but it isn't my birthday. It's October 1 and my birthday is November 4 (remember that lol). Then I hear all these alarms coming from my drawers and they say "October 1, 2011: Birthday". Now normally I would disregard a dream like this but the first thing that came to mind when I woke up was, "Omg I'm supposed to be due around that time! What if that's the day that he comes!" So I'm thinking it'd be really cool if baby Jay is born on October 1 :) We'll see how psychic I am but until then I just have to wait and be prepared.

♥ Brenda

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Hi everyone,

So I am in my third trimester now and time seems to have gone by really fast! It's so crazy how 9 months is essentially a long time but at the same time it's not long enough (at least when you're having a baby). My second trimester flew by but maybe it was because I was on vacation and it was pretty easy. I wasn't huge, I had energy, and besides my fainting spells I felt good overall. This last trimester, however, is already kicking my butt! I have the worst back pain, I feel sick, I have headaches, I have the dreaded stretch marks :( and I am not prepared at all for the baby.

I think being so far from everyone is really taking a toll on me. I just feel so disconnected with everyone and I know that's not the case, I know my family and friends love me and want to support me but because I'm so far I just feel all alone and like I said, not prepared. Nothing compares to having your family and friends there by your side 24/7 when the baby is here and I know I won't have that experience. I won't get to see everyone for a while and knowing that really gets me down. And I don't want to sound negative because I have so much to be grateful for but it's hard right now with all my emotions running wild. I hope that as time goes by things fall more into place and get easier. I just have to try to stay optimistic..

♥ Brenda