My whole world..

revolves around him..

♥ Brenda

October 3, 2011

♥ ♥ ♥

OMG I am sooo close to my delivery date!! I was hoping he'd be here by now but I guess since it is my first that's just wishful thinking ;) So I had a doctor's appointment today and it was supposed to be just a routine check up, however during the ultrasound she noticed I looked like I had low amniotic fluid.. She finished up with the ultrasound and did a membrane sweep before having to send me to Labor&Delivery (It didn't hurt like people say but then again I don't know how good of a job she did). So they sent me up to Labor&Delivery and I had to get tested to make sure baby was okay and all that. Well they had me hooked onto two monitors and kept me on them for 20 minutes. I had a nurse in there with me and we were just talking, she was telling me that I have a very strong, healthy baby :) She called him my "Rockstar" baby because everything she needed him to do within the 20 minutes he did in like two lol. She also asked me if I could feel my contractions and I of course felt nothing.. Yay me (at least for now) I know they'll get strong once I'm in real labor :( They did a bunch of tests checking my cervix and they did an ultrasound and by then the baby was positioned correctly and definitely had fluid around him :) So everything so far looks good and she says I'm moving along perfectly. I am 2cm, 70% effaced, which is a major step up from what I was a few days ago, 1cm and no effacement. So now we're just waiting for his big arrival! We are all ready for him and will continue to try to naturally induce him. They said they expect to see me soon!

♥ Brenda

Miracle in the making ♥

J and I took maternity pictures twice this past month. We did a shoot at a home studio (we are still waiting on those pics) and we did another shoot at Toguchi Beach (which is just a beautiful beach here on Okinawa). I posted my favorite pictures from the beach shoot on my facebook but since I have lots of friends & family who aren't on facebook I'll share them here with you :)

Hope you like them!!

♥ Brenda

please & thank you

Hi friends :)

So I have less than 8 weeks till baby Jay is here (if he's here on time)!! I am going crazy! I feel like I have nothing ready for him and that time is going by WAY too fast.. It's so nerve-wracking!! If only I wasn't so tired all the time, I'm sure things would be done by now :/ Come on nesting kick in! Hopefully this weekend J can get the baby's room painted and set up so I can finally decorate, or attempt to :) Also I'll be taking parenting classes starting next week. I cannot wait. I need all the help I can get, so if any of you mamas have tips for me pleeeeaaase let me know ♥ thanks in advance. I have not taken care of a baby since my little sister was born, 9 years ago.. I have been around babies but never actually been responsible for taking care of them so ya. Wish me luck lol

♥ Brenda

crazy dreams.

Just thought I'd share another dream with you guys..

Last night, more like this morning in my sleep I had a dream that I had died and then either brought back to life or came back as a spirit, idk, I guess I had to see that I had died. But I remember the location being along the beach somewhere, actually it was more like the pacific coast highway and I was walking along the road and I saw a blog, but instead of it being on a computer it was written out on cardboard posters. I came across a memorial page where I saw a picture of me, so I read the description and it said something like, "My Dearest Friend Brenda, I miss her so much!! She was so full of life. She was pregnant with her first baby. She wanted to get married in the temple and never had the chance, she wanted to travel and etc." (I cannot remember the rest.) At the very end it said "Now her and her baby can live in heaven together forever." At the bottom, people are allowed to leave comments, one person said "death confirmed", another said "she's still alive". It was really weird!!

I really can't remember the rest of my dream but I woke up having such an ugly feeling! To know that I had died or that death was upon me is such an ugly feeling!! So immediately I tell J and I google it and this is what one of the first responses said..

To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something. - Dream Moods Dictionary

This could not be more relevant to my life right now. It's amazing how the subconscious mind can tell you so much about yourself when you're dreaming. Dreams reveal so much about what is going on in your life! I'm going through a big change and it's definitely a new beginning for me.

♥ Brenda

dreams

In case you didn't know, being pregnant brings on crazy, vivid dreams. However, I've always had weird dreams and 95% of the time I can remember them and so that I don't forget, I usually tell J in the morning. He thinks I'm so weird too because I get deja-vu all the time lol but whatever :P

Anyways, the other night I had a dream that I woke up to my phone going off. I check my phone and see that people are wishing me a happy birthday, but it isn't my birthday. It's October 1 and my birthday is November 4 (remember that lol). Then I hear all these alarms coming from my drawers and they say "October 1, 2011: Birthday". Now normally I would disregard a dream like this but the first thing that came to mind when I woke up was, "Omg I'm supposed to be due around that time! What if that's the day that he comes!" So I'm thinking it'd be really cool if baby Jay is born on October 1 :) We'll see how psychic I am but until then I just have to wait and be prepared.

♥ Brenda

...

Hi everyone,

So I am in my third trimester now and time seems to have gone by really fast! It's so crazy how 9 months is essentially a long time but at the same time it's not long enough (at least when you're having a baby). My second trimester flew by but maybe it was because I was on vacation and it was pretty easy. I wasn't huge, I had energy, and besides my fainting spells I felt good overall. This last trimester, however, is already kicking my butt! I have the worst back pain, I feel sick, I have headaches, I have the dreaded stretch marks :( and I am not prepared at all for the baby.

I think being so far from everyone is really taking a toll on me. I just feel so disconnected with everyone and I know that's not the case, I know my family and friends love me and want to support me but because I'm so far I just feel all alone and like I said, not prepared. Nothing compares to having your family and friends there by your side 24/7 when the baby is here and I know I won't have that experience. I won't get to see everyone for a while and knowing that really gets me down. And I don't want to sound negative because I have so much to be grateful for but it's hard right now with all my emotions running wild. I hope that as time goes by things fall more into place and get easier. I just have to try to stay optimistic..

♥ Brenda