his first love.

Aww ♥ my little boy won't be little for long! He's 2 months tomorrow! I cannot even believe it.. Where has the time gone?! I know it may not seem long but for me it came by so quickly.. I swear he was just born yesterday.. He is just growing so much and doing new things everyday! He wakes up every morning with a smile on his face :) He makes every day amazing.. I have never felt love like this before.. I know I sound so cliche lol.. but it's true.

I love my little man.

♥ Brenda

baby talk ♥

I cannot get enough of his cooing! It is the sweetest thing ever! The first time he ever cooed, he was about 2 weeks and ever since then every time we interact with him he "talks" back! I just love it! These past few days I've been emphasizing saying "I love you" and he's been saying it back :) at least that's what I'll tell myself lol

♥ Brenda

My whole world..

revolves around him..

♥ Brenda

October 3, 2011

♥ ♥ ♥

OMG I am sooo close to my delivery date!! I was hoping he'd be here by now but I guess since it is my first that's just wishful thinking ;) So I had a doctor's appointment today and it was supposed to be just a routine check up, however during the ultrasound she noticed I looked like I had low amniotic fluid.. She finished up with the ultrasound and did a membrane sweep before having to send me to Labor&Delivery (It didn't hurt like people say but then again I don't know how good of a job she did). So they sent me up to Labor&Delivery and I had to get tested to make sure baby was okay and all that. Well they had me hooked onto two monitors and kept me on them for 20 minutes. I had a nurse in there with me and we were just talking, she was telling me that I have a very strong, healthy baby :) She called him my "Rockstar" baby because everything she needed him to do within the 20 minutes he did in like two lol. She also asked me if I could feel my contractions and I of course felt nothing.. Yay me (at least for now) I know they'll get strong once I'm in real labor :( They did a bunch of tests checking my cervix and they did an ultrasound and by then the baby was positioned correctly and definitely had fluid around him :) So everything so far looks good and she says I'm moving along perfectly. I am 2cm, 70% effaced, which is a major step up from what I was a few days ago, 1cm and no effacement. So now we're just waiting for his big arrival! We are all ready for him and will continue to try to naturally induce him. They said they expect to see me soon!

♥ Brenda

Miracle in the making ♥

J and I took maternity pictures twice this past month. We did a shoot at a home studio (we are still waiting on those pics) and we did another shoot at Toguchi Beach (which is just a beautiful beach here on Okinawa). I posted my favorite pictures from the beach shoot on my facebook but since I have lots of friends & family who aren't on facebook I'll share them here with you :)

Hope you like them!!

♥ Brenda

please & thank you

Hi friends :)

So I have less than 8 weeks till baby Jay is here (if he's here on time)!! I am going crazy! I feel like I have nothing ready for him and that time is going by WAY too fast.. It's so nerve-wracking!! If only I wasn't so tired all the time, I'm sure things would be done by now :/ Come on nesting kick in! Hopefully this weekend J can get the baby's room painted and set up so I can finally decorate, or attempt to :) Also I'll be taking parenting classes starting next week. I cannot wait. I need all the help I can get, so if any of you mamas have tips for me pleeeeaaase let me know ♥ thanks in advance. I have not taken care of a baby since my little sister was born, 9 years ago.. I have been around babies but never actually been responsible for taking care of them so ya. Wish me luck lol

♥ Brenda

crazy dreams.

Just thought I'd share another dream with you guys..

Last night, more like this morning in my sleep I had a dream that I had died and then either brought back to life or came back as a spirit, idk, I guess I had to see that I had died. But I remember the location being along the beach somewhere, actually it was more like the pacific coast highway and I was walking along the road and I saw a blog, but instead of it being on a computer it was written out on cardboard posters. I came across a memorial page where I saw a picture of me, so I read the description and it said something like, "My Dearest Friend Brenda, I miss her so much!! She was so full of life. She was pregnant with her first baby. She wanted to get married in the temple and never had the chance, she wanted to travel and etc." (I cannot remember the rest.) At the very end it said "Now her and her baby can live in heaven together forever." At the bottom, people are allowed to leave comments, one person said "death confirmed", another said "she's still alive". It was really weird!!

I really can't remember the rest of my dream but I woke up having such an ugly feeling! To know that I had died or that death was upon me is such an ugly feeling!! So immediately I tell J and I google it and this is what one of the first responses said..

To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something. - Dream Moods Dictionary

This could not be more relevant to my life right now. It's amazing how the subconscious mind can tell you so much about yourself when you're dreaming. Dreams reveal so much about what is going on in your life! I'm going through a big change and it's definitely a new beginning for me.

♥ Brenda

dreams

In case you didn't know, being pregnant brings on crazy, vivid dreams. However, I've always had weird dreams and 95% of the time I can remember them and so that I don't forget, I usually tell J in the morning. He thinks I'm so weird too because I get deja-vu all the time lol but whatever :P

Anyways, the other night I had a dream that I woke up to my phone going off. I check my phone and see that people are wishing me a happy birthday, but it isn't my birthday. It's October 1 and my birthday is November 4 (remember that lol). Then I hear all these alarms coming from my drawers and they say "October 1, 2011: Birthday". Now normally I would disregard a dream like this but the first thing that came to mind when I woke up was, "Omg I'm supposed to be due around that time! What if that's the day that he comes!" So I'm thinking it'd be really cool if baby Jay is born on October 1 :) We'll see how psychic I am but until then I just have to wait and be prepared.

♥ Brenda

...

Hi everyone,

So I am in my third trimester now and time seems to have gone by really fast! It's so crazy how 9 months is essentially a long time but at the same time it's not long enough (at least when you're having a baby). My second trimester flew by but maybe it was because I was on vacation and it was pretty easy. I wasn't huge, I had energy, and besides my fainting spells I felt good overall. This last trimester, however, is already kicking my butt! I have the worst back pain, I feel sick, I have headaches, I have the dreaded stretch marks :( and I am not prepared at all for the baby.

I think being so far from everyone is really taking a toll on me. I just feel so disconnected with everyone and I know that's not the case, I know my family and friends love me and want to support me but because I'm so far I just feel all alone and like I said, not prepared. Nothing compares to having your family and friends there by your side 24/7 when the baby is here and I know I won't have that experience. I won't get to see everyone for a while and knowing that really gets me down. And I don't want to sound negative because I have so much to be grateful for but it's hard right now with all my emotions running wild. I hope that as time goes by things fall more into place and get easier. I just have to try to stay optimistic..

♥ Brenda

Month of May ♥

Hello everyone :)

So I have not written in over a month, I am really bad at keeping up with stuff oops..

So little updates::

♥ Today I am 19 weeks and 3 days according to my BabyBump App.

♥ I find out the sex on Thursday, May 19 (Japan time) and Wednesday (US time)

♥ I've been feeling a little sick every now and then. I get really dizzy and don't have much of an appetite usually BUT when I do get hungry I eat and I can't stop lol

♥ I crave juicy fruits like oranges, watermelons, pineapples.. I also crave cereals, popsicles, and chicken.

♥ My belly is growing.. Here are some pics..

At 15 weeks..

I started getting a little belly :)

Around 16 weeks I had this pooch ;)

18 weeks exactly.

And this was taken this morning.

I'm practically halfway there :)

♥ Brenda

Soldiers Surprising Their Loved Ones..

Videos like these get me every time!!

Now I can't stop crying.. uggghh.. haha

♥

♥ Brenda

My Little Surprise..

Hi everyone!!

So I finally came out with the big news on facebook :) I'm pregnant!!

For those of you close to me, you know this wasn't part of my plan just yet. I wanted to wait at least 2-3 years before trying, but I believe things happen for a reason. And I know that this is a blessing for me.

So here's the story..

January 28, 2011

I was hanging out with one of my girlfriends who had just found out she was pregnant the day before and we were just catching up and talking about her news :). I was telling her how my lovely monthly gift never came and she immediately took me to the commissary to buy a pregnancy test. I was so doubtful, because I was on birth control and had just run out and what are the chances that it would happen so soon, right? Well here's a picture of my results which I refused to believe were accurate haha

So the minute after I took two of them I called my mom. I was crying because I was so scared and wasn't sure how to react. I'm so thankful for my mom who was extremely happy for me and made me feel 100% better. She knew exactly what to say and has basically talked me through this and I love her so much for all the support she has given me.

February 17, 2011

So there we are 6 weeks and 5 days later and I'm practically dying, which is a pregnancy symptom for those who are unaware ;) And both my hubby and I are thinking I'm farther along because of my LMP but of course I was just 6 weeks 5 days. Anyways we get an ultrasound and get to hear the heartbeat and it was so amazing. Here's my little Mickey Mouse looking baby.. At this point only my family and close friends know, and everyone they told ;) thanks guys lol

March 16, 2011

Finally I have my first 10 week ultrasound and I'm worried, nervous, excited, etc. I swear I go through like a million emotions at once. Thanks hormones. We talk to the doctor about how I've been feeling and what not. We get to do an ultrasound and hear the heartbeat again and at this point it actually looks like a baby. It's really amazing to see that and I'm still in this phase where it's hard to believe I am actually carrying a baby inside me. It's so surreal!! I think once I get a noticeable belly it'll be more real to me.

So now I'm at about 12 weeks and just beginning this big adventure with my husband. He's so excited by the way. I'm so thankful for all the support I have. It makes me feel good when I begin to doubt myself and have really tough emotional times, to know that I have people who love me and will be there for me no matter what :) I love you guys!! The only thing that would make this perfect is to be home with everyone.. soon enough!

Also I cannot wait to come home to visit in June.. It's for sure now, just booked the flight!! :))

♥ Brenda

American Red Cross Responding to Japan Earthquake and Pacific Tsunami

How to help..

follow the link to the red cross and help our Japanese friends :)

American Red Cross Responding to Japan Earthquake and Pacific Tsunami

♥Brenda

Japan

Hello family, friends, and everyone else :)

For those who don't know, I'm currently living in Okinawa, Japan. Today the country of Japan suffered a great earthquake of a magnitude 8.8-8.9 as many of you are aware and 7th largest ever recorded for those who didn't know. It happened in the region of Honshu, Japan which is Northeastern Japan (we are in the Southeast). We were not hit directly here on Okinawa but we have all been affected by this. Most of the Pacific is currently under tsunami warning including Japan, Guam, Russia, Taiwan, Hawaii, US, Canada and of course many other countries and islands. Also Japan is under a nuclear emergency which is a little scary. I'll update as much as I can from what I hear. There is no recorded death toll at this moment because the numbers keep rising, but last I read it was about 60 with many more still missing. :(

I have recorded some video of a Japanese news station's live footage of the earthquake and tsunami. It is so scary to see this and mind you this mild footage.

Please keep everyone over here in your prayers. ♥

♥ Brenda

i have big news..

COMING SOON!!

♥

missing home..

i hate living thousands of miles away from home. the thing i miss the most is being so far from my siblings who have always been there for me. yes, like all siblings we fought and argued but we always made each other laugh and did everything together.. i guess distance makes the heart grow fonder ♥ i can't wait to see them again this summer.. love you guys!!

my brothers and i at my birthday dinner in 2009.

my sister and i in december of 2008.